The Comic Relief (UK) Wellington branch xmas party

Dear friends,

As you know the Christmas period is fast approaching. I bet you’ve all got your office parties and cools things planned huh? Yeah, me too. But spare a thought for me. I work alone. In fact, here’s a little song I sing to myself as I work:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdug6yHJB40

I was going to go ahead and have my own party, just me, but the guy I drew out of the hat for secret Santa is a real douche so I’ve decided to extend the invite to others.

The plan at this stage involves meeting at Lanes for bowling to commence at 18.00, followed by Ribs at the Lone Star at 19.30. There may or may not be a secret Santa setup/speeches/prize giving/employee of the year ceremony. The social committee is currently divided on the issue.

What do you think? It’s for charity. Kind of. I work for the charity, I didn’t mean that you guys coming along to be my friend would be charitable on your behalf. But it would be. Although another great thing about the recession is the cost of hiring friends for the night has really dropped.

Please let me know if you’re in,

The Rock

Matawhero - Sacrificial Yvonne - PBRCCCPB

Peter Adsett presented a great floor talk at Pataka today at the opening of his show Matawhero: Bullet Holes and Bandages. Adestt paints abstract anti-modernist, on the floor. The exhibition is facilitated by Mattie Nache and Gene Paul of PAUL NACHE in sunny Gisborne.

Lorene Taurerewa's excellent exhibition Sleight of Hand also opened today. The highlights are two large charcoals, each approx 2.8 metres high. The largest work is over 4 .5 meters high. Lorene returned to New York on Tuesday. It was good to see a few familiar Porirua faces and other friends at the opening.

Hamish Coney re Thursday's Important Paintings and Contemporary Art auction: "Quite a good sale but a bit of a Himilaya which is a reflection of the current market." We say good bye Yvonne and welcome back Lisa.

Tips for your next trip to Gisborne:

1. Fish and chips anywhere anytime.

2. PAUL NACHE for a selection of fantastic mens footwear and style.

3. Soho Bar for a good cocktail.

4. A Poverty Bay Radio Control Car Club of Poverty Bay (PBRCCCPB) race meet.

Garden City P-Lab Connoisseur’s Lexicon Pop-Quiz

Nazi Dope

a) Low I.Q. National Socialist
b) Arriviste Mall Cop
c) Meth so wickedly pure that when you are high on it you hallucinate military or law enforcement coming to kill or incarcerate you.

Shake & Bake

a) Preparing fried chicken by shaking poultry portions in a paper
bag filled with flour and spices.
b) Fire service euphemism for the deployment of a personal fire
shelter when out run by a bush fire.
c)Did you get wind of those dumb-ass Ashburton pill-billys?
They was making up a batch of shake & bake in the cab of a milk tanker when the bottle
blew up.

Smebbin’

a) Driving through a mob of push-bikes while drunk.
b) Wiping one’s nose with the sleeve of a Swanndri shirt.
c) Tweaking on methamphetamine.

Wheke

Wheke - Ngai Tahu Kohatu-Mauri or life force stone - stands at the entrance to Neil Pardington's exhibition 'The Vault' at Christchurch Art Gallery, which opened last night with several Te Arawa guests present. The show features 35 large scale photographs of collection storage spaces in museums and galleries throughout New Zealand. Wheke will travel with the exhibition to several other cities including Whanganui, Rotorua and Dunedin.

Five highlights of this trip to the Garden City (in no particular order):

1. A glass of wine with Mr Smart.
2. Succulent pork belly at the Crumpet Club.
3. Sitting in the sun on Latimer Square enjoying a flat white at The Bicycle Thief.
4. Learning more about how to build a P Lab.
5. Leaving to fly home.

Illustrated: Neil Pardington The Wet Room # 1.

Your contraption

Resembles NASA's Martian Rover - but instead of surveilling the Red Planet your tiny Art-Rover could be implanted with a listening device and loosed at important art openings for the gathering of art-land goss.

First Test

The teachers were impressed when I made a car during Hugo's first kindy class on 12 October. It took me 54 minutes to complete.

This is the first of hopefully many posts by high flying individuals including me, Could-do, P_Lab (aka A Visitor from Auckland) and The Rock. We will impart information, facts and figures relevant to New Zealand arts events and other miscellaneous, but interesting, bits and pieces.